Can you recommend any writings on how not to be blunt and mean? (I've been told I have a violent communication style.)

Alternatively, I'd love to read a LW post on this topic if anyone wants to write one.

My current answer to the question of how I can be less blunt and mean is "spend an uncomfortably long time thinking about all the potential ways what I'm going to say could be interpreted and rethink what I'm going to say until I can't think of any particularly unpleasant interpretations".

I think having this strategy means that it's a lot easier for me to avoid being blunt and mean in writing than in real-life communication.