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shokwave comments on Narrow your answer space - Less Wrong
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This would be ideal, but men don't know how to make it balanced. We just don't have the information or the understanding; it seems chaotic/confusing. We're basically just groping in the dark and that alone has sometimes offended women when it wouldn't offend men. If you have any ideas, even half-formed ones, it would really help.
I have to take exception to this.
Different men know this to varying degrees, just as different women do. It depends a lot on how much I pay attention to other people's stated preferences, how skilled I am at inferring their unstated preferences, and how direct the people I interact with are in stating their preferences (which in turn depends on a lot of things, not least of which whether my prior behavior indicates that I will adjust my behavior in response).
Mostly, the piece of this that's within my control is how much attention I pay to people's preferences, and how much I adjust my behavior in response.
So must I and at several levels! I would perhaps not reject a claim "males are on average less proficient at this kind of skill than females are" but nothing more general than that.