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orthonormal comments on Narrow your answer space - Less Wrong
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I almost agree, except that this sets up a false dichotomy between a style palatable to men and one palatable to women. I think it's quite possible, without too much effort, to craft a style that improves in both those respects over one's 'default' style.
That was my interpretation of the Alicorn/Perplexed conversation; my feeling is that politeness is positively received by most people of both genders but women tend to care more about it. It's a nontrivial problem to be polite quickly, and many people dislike having their time wasted, but man is that a useful skill to have/learn.