I know I'm responding seriously to a joke, but as a huge OED fanboy, I feel I must point out that they are exceptionally broad and non-elitist in deciding what words and usages to include, and, although they point out what usages are considered nonstandard or neologistic, they never pretend to be legislators of language.
(And yes, it includes that sense of "peruse"!)
My various interweb browsings stumbled me upon a potential Cockatrice in written, philisophical form. I've thus far read through the first chapter, and it is less anti-rational than most philosophical writings.
I'm reading through it right now, and will provide my feedback when I'm done, likely as a front-page post.
Personally, I'm a Fatalist, with some sort of Weird Soldier Ethic, who plans to go out the same way that Hunter did (if the cops don't get me first), but I've got a bunch of nonsense to Write first. I figure that'll make me somewhat immune. That aside, I doubt it's a real cockatrice - or we would've heard about it before.
It is a strong exercise in Nihilism. So, with those cautions given, I offer it to you: an extensive suicide letter.
Tip of the hat to this guy.