I phrased them badly.

The following things, I think, are not mutually contradictory:

• Noticing as much as possible about what your brain is doing. Taking special pains to notice defensiveness, wire-heading patterns, and other things like that that you might flinch away from seeing.
• Accepting that your current state is in fact your current state. Getting used to the idea thoroughly, and to its details, so that you won't find yourself painfully flinching away to avoid seeing your current state.
• Helping information get from one part of your brain to another. For example, I find I'm often defensive and mean when I don't want to notice something (e.g., when I don't want to notice that I'm stressed out about a task I haven't done). So, if I instead notice my discomfort about the unfinished task (which may have nothing to do with the poor person who just reminded me of the task), I can short-circuit my brain's defensive reaction.

I guess I did mean more than the above by "accepting as large a part of yourself as possible", but I'm not sure how to unpack it or whether I was right about the other parts.