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JoshuaZ comments on Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality discussion thread, part 7 - Less Wrong
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I don't like some of the changes to the chapter where Harry and Quirrel first go to Mary's Room. The lack of any transition sentence between Harry being shocked and the mention of the crushed beetle make it almost sound like Harry is shocked by that, which is obviously not the case. The earlier version was better. At minimum, there should be some sort of transitional note like saying how he didn't see the beetle.
There weren't any changes to that chapter...?
Huh. In that case my memory of the chapter ending isn't accurate. I remembered there being more of a pause between Harry's shock and the crushed beetle. Rereading it I got a bit jarred because it almost read like his shock was over the beetle.
Perhaps you're mixing it up with the final chapter of the first Dementor destruction, where the closing line about the empty tattered cloak was shuffled around a bit.