Ah, I see.

Yeah, when the costs of being rebuffed are high, the two questions get entangled.

Often, the most effective fix is to disentangle them, but admittedly sometimes that isn't an option for whatever reason.

The best recommendation I can think of given that constraint is to establish friendships with people who are culturally affiliated with the queer community, and try to use that network of friendships to identify potential relationships. That is, get your friends to set you up with girls they know.