If so, Fecke's disparagement of him is a form of victim-blaming. If so many men with certain temperaments and upbringings are getting trapped in these unrealistic and outdated scripts, maybe the main problem is with the brainwashing that they are subjected to (see this and this for examples from popular culture).

It is worth adding that part of the 'brainwashing' process includes spending too much time in communities where more effective instrumental beliefs are stigmatised but where romantic advice is still given.