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Morgan_Catha comments on Procedural Knowledge Gaps - Less Wrong
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This is another question that may lack a simple answer, and indeed there is a good chance that this is simply a wrong question in the first place.
Background: So going by LW and indeed much of the rest of the internet it seems that speaking to arbitrary strangers in public is in fact not in general considered creepy and unacceptable (which makes this a case where I would have done better with the typical mind heuristic, as opposed to what I guess is some sort of version of Postel's Law, as I am not myself in general creeped out when others approach me).
Now much has been said on this topic here already - I can't find the thread right now but I recall reading, e.g., don't do this in enclosed spaces if you're new to this (leave the other person a (literal) line of retreat). And how isn't something I think I have a problem with either, nor am I worried that I can't tell when people want me to go away.
What I am wondering is - well, regardless of the above, there do seem to be certain spaces which, though public, people have some expectation of privacy in. (I.e. they would consider other people approaching them creepy.) So what I am wondering is how can I distinguish those spaces with this expectation from those without. I have been basically erring on the side of caution by treating all public spaces as the former when I don't have good reason otherwise.
Of course I suspect this may be a wrong question because I'm not certain the suppositions I'm putting into it are correct; in particular I'm suspecting I may get the response "you need to learn to judge people, not spaces, better". But if it is in fact a wrong question any help in righting it would be appreciated.
Related - I originally thought of it as the same question, but now I realize it may not be - is the question of, in what spaces is it OK to simply butt in if I hear a bunch of people talking about something interesting? (Again this is something I currently don't do...) On the internet and at parties are two examples where this seems to be always OK, but I'm pretty certain this doesn't apply in general. I suspect this may also be a wrong question for reasons similar to above.
This is my strategy: when entering any space, I call attention to my arrival by loudly making some comment to either the group in general, someone I know, or anyone who looks friendly. Obviously, this works best in familiar settings, maxing out its fitness in, say, your own home. ("Honey! I'm home!") I find, however, that it works virtually anywhere that isn't supposed to be quiet. People who want to be social will smile and engage you. In places like bars, cafes, or restaurants where this might be taken as obnoxious, tone it down, but feel free to speak to anyone around you. Most people are amenable to passing comments at the very least.
Could you give examples of comments (and appropriate contexts) in contexts other than your own home?
Say you go into Starbucks and there's a long line of customers waiting to order a drink. Approach the end of the line and go "Whoah, long line!". Chances are, you'll get someone's attention. People will turn around and look at you. When they do, make eye contact and say "We're gonna be here a while!" or something like that. You're immediately building rapport by referencing a shared context, as well as broadcasting your own confidence and willingness to socialize. It works great.
A more difficult scenario, but still quite doable, is a bookstore. Find someone reading a particular book or type of book, or looking through a certain section, and engage them on it. "Hey, good book!" They're looking through the psychology section? Say "Psshh, Descartes. What did HE know?" This sort of thing will elicit a smile from almost anyone. The important thing is to not LOOK awkward, even though you may feel awkward.
Yes, this approach is cheesy. And some people may find you annoying. But those are people who are likely annoyed with life in general. Overall, you can generate a lot of positive results this way. If you want to generate maximum socialization, be THAT guy.
Also, it might be better to avoid addressing people in places where a lot of conversations go either between people-who-know-each-other or between drunk people and the people near to them. (In my case, it is a bus stop or the bus.) People-who-know-each-other (for example, by virtue of taking the same bus every day) might just think 'ooh, another one', without even going on to a noun.