more than 50% of people in my demographic are even worse than me at that skill, but this doesn't mean they'll never get a relationship, because they can compensate by e.g. being insanely rich.

I'm not arguing that feeling no anxiety to physical contact and having the self confidence to lead woman in general is sufficient to be good at partner dancing.

I'm rather arguing that being good at partner dancing usually leads to feeling no anxiety to physical contact and having the self confidence to lead woman.

I mean, if Alice doesn't get horny when around Bob because he comes across as tense, I wouldn't expect her to lose interest after a couple dates or so: I would expect her to never ask him out in the first place.

In PUA literature there the idea that making a girl horny while at a club, asking her for her phone number and then calling a day later to make a date is not the way to go. Having the girl in a state of being attracted, comfortable and connected is supposed to be more conductive to getting a date than the girl feeling horny.

I think the problem is that you model being attracted and being horny as the same thing when the two are different categories for myself. You don't have a mental model in this domain with a lot of categories and therefore it's hard to follow the points I'm making. (Just for the record, I don't think having a mental model with a lot of categories is necessary to have success with woman)

Also, you appeared to suspect that I might have Asperger's (something which FWIW none of my meatspace friends, who include several psychology graduates and a neurology resident, appears to have noticed lately) based on my reluctance to wear a “free-hugs” sign.

I don't think you have full Aspergers. I think you are 'in your head', but that's not a label that I would expect to be well understood on LessWrong. When on LessWrong I rather try to use categories that are popular on LessWrong.

You are probably the kind of person who thinks that they have a body instead of who thinks that they are their body. You probably think that you are your brain and the rest is just there to serve your brain.

On the other hand I do think that your reluctance to wear a free-hug sign is purely based on a irrational fear of physical contact. Wearing the sign is the rational thing to do.

FYI diagnosing people with mental disorders based on so little information is likely to make actual mental health specialists take you very unseriously

I choose the kind of language I use depending on my audience. I would use different lanague when discussing with a mental health specialist. A mental health specialist probably also wouldn't take you seriously when you talk about giving money to Pascal's mugger.