I can (a) present my recollections and try to collaborate to find an agreement; (b) just nod and accept X as the agreed-upon finding; (c) insist that !X, using all the art of persuasion I possess; I will choose the course of action which I believe will lead to a better marital life (this includes long-term consequences and personal stress as factors). [Sidenote: I do have a preference for relationships in which (a) tends to be the best choice]
In any of these cases, I keep track of my own estimate of P(X), adjusting it as appropriate during and after the exchange, on the evidence provided by the spouse's testimony and behaviour.
You are confusing "being right" with "being believed to be right". Making the right calculations is always the correct course of action (tautology), but that doesn't imply that you should necessarily say them.
I can (a) present my recollections and try to collaborate to find an agreement; (b) just nod and accept X as the agreed-upon finding; (c) insist that !X, using all the art of persuasion I possess;
None of these things allow the possibility of not arguing while also not conceding.
On Quora: What are some stupid things smart people do? Examples of common types of stupidity that are typical of otherwise very smart people.
Lee Semel's answer in particular would make a great post here: a "to don't" list. You may wish to go through and identify the cognitive bias or biases each is an example of.