Hip-hop savors the sudden surprise stress, the in-line rhyme, the timing that makes you think "Why did that series of stressed S'es sound so fine?" Sublime.

I don't especially like hip hop - mostly because the content is usually unappealing (and content matters to me more than to most). But this quote doesn't have the problems that the OP has. It mostly sounded catchy. Except the timing of the middle part feels a little bad to me because the phrases before and after prompt an expectation lyrical flow that isn't maintained. If that is a part of hip-hop then I don't like that either. :)