I totally endorse tight-knit communities, ones in which bonds of friendship are formed and nurtured, ones that foster hope, ones whose members help one another out when needed.

And I certainly endorse the choice of being mindful about how you respond to criticism, how you respond to other people's behavior, how you respond to other people's emotions.

For my own part, I have been lucky enough to find such a community in my own life, and I value it enormously. I've seen that community help one another pay rent, take care of one another's children, help one another through periods of grief and join one another in periods of joy. When I had my stroke and was delirious in the ICU for a week, they organized a 24-hour heel-and-toe watch so I would always have someone I knew in the room when I awoke. Many of us spent much of this past weekend visiting a friend whose father died recently.

It's not a religious community, although many members are religious -- many different religions, both mainstream and non-mainstream. Many members are atheist. In most cases, I neither know nor care about their religious or spiritual stance, nor do they mine. It's not a much-of-anything-in-particular community, though it has its origins in several online and university communities.

Personally, I don't think I could find the kind of support you've found in a community that denounces my marriage, for example. Nor in a "relentlessly positive" community that discourages expressions of negative emotion. But if you've found support there, if it helps you be more mindful of your choices and to make choices that improve your life, then I'm happy for you.

I also endorse not confusing fundamentals with accidentals. What I endorse in your community is the reliable (within strict limits) mutual support, which is also what I value in my own. I assume you would similarly endorse that in my community.

That yours is a religious community, and mine is not, is beside the point.