Suicide note of an LW user

10 [deleted] 16 March 2011 04:24PM

It was User:pdf23ds. Here's the note. Excerpt:

I wish I could have been cryonically preserved. But suicides aren’t treated well enough for that. We get sectioned. I tried asking the cryonics places about options, but they wouldn’t talk to me. Fuck you, Alcor. Fuck you, CI. I might have lived except for you.

Comments (41)

Comment author: [deleted] 17 March 2011 05:07:37PM 5 points [-]

Does anyone have any way of getting in touch with this person offline, getting his address etc? It seems from his comments that he is intending to kill himself, and has that post queued, but just hasn't done it yet...

Comment author: afriend 21 April 2011 01:03:36AM 5 points [-]

I do not know how to use this blog...or post on it I am replying because a friend of mine has a son named Chris Capel who killed himself last night... can you send me a copy of the note so that I can give it to his mother please...we are all shocked and dismayed here... I just stumbled upon this this evening...

Thank you for any assistance...

a friend

Comment author: [deleted] 21 April 2011 11:02:23AM 3 points [-]

That's awful. I actually contacted Mr Capel's local police dept with the information about this, in the hope that they could do something (I ran a Whois lookup on his domain name, got his address, and emailed the police contacts). I'm so sorry they couldn't. I'm afraid, though, that I don't have a copy of this blog post.

Comment author: pdf23-ds 01 May 2011 03:13:53PM 16 points [-]

Thank you for trying to help. My heart is so heavy still. I do hope Chris has peace now. FAWS posted a link to a copy of the post which I have now saved along with his blog site. My words are so few now, I am still grieving.

This - the internet, the blogs - this was Chris's world. He was at home here. He was a real believer in the singularity, even contributing a large sum of money.

I appreciate everyone here that was a part of his life. http://pdf23ds.net is a small snapshot of that life.

Chris's Dad

Comment author: Nieuwe 11 July 2011 07:33:41PM 3 points [-]

The link does not work; does anybody still have the note he left behind?

Comment author: XFrequentist 16 March 2011 05:49:14PM 2 points [-]

Don't know him, but he lives in Texas.

Comment author: SilasBarta 16 March 2011 06:34:27PM 1 point [-]

I am Chris Capel. I live in the US. I live in Texas. I live in the middle of nowhere.

Awesome! Another LW Texan, who also lives in the middle of nowhere! I think we can finally have a Texas meetup, now that we know he's alive!

Comment author: XFrequentist 16 March 2011 08:23:31PM *  3 points [-]

You seem to be kidding, but that might actually be a good idea if you can arrange it. He seems to still be actively planning to kill himself.

Edit: Came off as unintentionally insulting to Silas. Reworded to not be.

Comment author: SilasBarta 16 March 2011 09:52:35PM *  2 points [-]

Gah! Access to his site just got "cut off" here. Someone please link or pass on this message (or tell me his email):

That had me really scared this morning, Chris. Please don't go through with it. I'm sure you can overcome whatever is bringing you down.

Do you still live in Texas? If so, I'm glad to find another LWer in the state! Shoot me an email (sbarta@gmail.com) or contact me on the LW forum. If you live somewhat nearby (I'm in Waco), I'd like to meet you in person.

Edit: I will also PM this to him on LW.

Comment author: SilasBarta 16 March 2011 09:41:18PM 2 points [-]

Good point. I do want to have a Texas meetup, but didn't realize until afterward I was probably being too flippant about this matter.

I will do as you've suggested.

Comment author: JenniferRM 19 March 2011 05:02:02PM 1 point [-]

Its been a few days. Did you succeed?

Comment author: SilasBarta 20 March 2011 02:48:17AM 1 point [-]

Unfortunately, no. I haven't gotten a reply from him in any of those venues, and he deleted the follow-up post and discussion thread :-(

Comment author: XFrequentist 16 March 2011 09:44:44PM 0 points [-]

"Flippant" was harsher than I intended, sorry. I edited the original.

Great that you're doing this though!

Comment author: SilasBarta 17 March 2011 03:18:53PM 2 points [-]

Don't be so hard on yourself -- "flippant" was accurate, and you were right to call me on it.

Comment author: Alicorn 16 March 2011 05:05:59PM 6 points [-]

Do we have any way to confirm if he successfully killed himself and is beyond help, rather than changing his mind at the last minute or making some technical error that left him alive? Does anyone know him in person?

Comment author: JenniferRM 24 March 2011 03:29:02AM 5 points [-]

I'm afraid that diffusion of responsibility may lead to no followup on the suicide issues since the "oops" post potentially reduced the urgency and then nothing happened and then a week passed. Has anyone heard anything since the "oops" post went up? Silas reports nothing back from Chris :-(

Comment author: [deleted] 21 April 2011 11:03:23AM 1 point [-]

Only just saw this comment thanks to the horrible news from 'a friend' - I emailed Mr Capel's local police department that day, but got no response...

Comment author: Airedale 16 March 2011 05:50:01PM *  2 points [-]

The post appears to have been removed. I hope that means that he changed his mind, but have no information either way.

Edited to add:

hopefully this is good news:

Comment author: gwern 16 March 2011 05:51:09PM 3 points [-]

If you read a certain post today that is no longer on my site (and hopefully not in too many RSS readers) please ignore it.

http://pdf23ds.net/2011/03/16/oops/

Comment author: MartinB 16 March 2011 05:52:26PM 2 points [-]

http://pdf23ds.net/2011/03/16/oops/ seems to indicate that he is fine.

Comment author: afriend 21 April 2011 01:25:35AM 7 points [-]

A friend of mine's son named Chris Capel killed himself last night... he is from Tx...can you please send me a copy of the note he wrote? I would like to give it to his family...if it is possible. If not, I understand...

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.

A friend.

Comment author: FAWS 21 April 2011 11:28:35AM *  6 points [-]
Comment author: Pablo_Stafforini 16 December 2012 10:57:15PM 2 points [-]

The cached copy is no longer available. And the WayBackMachine cannot display the site due to robots.txt, unfortunately.

Comment author: pleeppleep 17 January 2013 10:19:20PM 2 points [-]

This post was from awhile ago and I don't think anyone with access to the note is still around to supply it. You could try asking everyone here for a copy and see if anything comes of it.

Comment author: Pablo_Stafforini 27 January 2013 11:39:39PM 1 point [-]

Thanks. If anyone has a copy of the letter, please send me a private message.

Comment author: MartinB 16 March 2011 06:46:36PM 4 points [-]

And http://pdf23ds.net/2009/02/02/commit-suicide/ indicates its a idea on his mind for quite a while. Argh. No idea what to do about that.

Comment author: MartinB 16 March 2011 06:28:51PM 1 point [-]

Maybe time to point out that suicide is a REALLY REALLY stupid idea. Or as someone called it. »A permanent solution to a temporary problem.« Whatever the problem is, it usually can be dealt with, waited out, ignored, treated or what ever. There is also a wide amount of support available to deal with hardships. (Maybe someone has the better ones on file and can post.)

I find it both odd and understandable how someone could be both into longevity and also contemplate suicide. If this comes up more often we might need a special support group for LW cluster people.

Regarding the idea of the OP to freeze himself he should be made aware that even the strong supporters work from odds of 5%. There is no guarantee that it works yet. Under most factors it is better to sit around on this side of the action and see to it that the technology gets better right away.

Comment author: MartinB 16 March 2011 06:36:37PM *  0 points [-]

The initial post reminded me of these two cryo cases.

(Trigger warning for everyone who prefers not to read about dead and/or frozen people with severe real life problems.)

http://cryonics.org/reports/CI101.html

http://cryonics.org/reports/CI93.html

Comment author: gwern 17 March 2011 02:14:36AM 0 points [-]

The first case is quite striking.

The 101st patient of the Cryonics Institute (CI) is an 18-year-old boy who committed suicide by hydrogen sulfide poisoning. He was reportedly "super bright", but suffered from depression.

Very bright, perhaps: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen_sulfide#Induced_hypothermia.2Fsuspended_animation

Comment author: rabidchicken 16 March 2011 08:14:55PM -2 points [-]

It seems pdf has not been on LW for a while, but I need to get this out of my system. Suicide is unbelievably stupid. I was friends with someone who committed suicide years ago, and my mom has been suicidally depressed before. Trying to kill yourself will do nothing but hurt people who know you. The probability of resurrection will never be one (even if you sign up for cyronics), and the probability of your life improving will never be zero even if your goals are apparently impossible. Its bad enough that people die without wanting to...

Comment author: Desrtopa 29 March 2011 11:52:38PM 5 points [-]

I've known a number of people who suffer from suicidal depression, and talked a couple people down from suicide myself. Most of them are aware of the "suicide is stupid and selfish" interpretation, but find it extremely hard to buy that anyone will be meaningfully hurt by their deaths, or that their life has realistic prospects to get better, while in a suicidal state.

Comment author: rabidchicken 16 March 2011 08:25:08PM 4 points [-]

Also, it seems this post has been deleted from discussion. Why?

Comment author: Epiphany 11 February 2013 08:02:29AM 0 points [-]

What does "sectioned" mean?

Comment author: juliawise 16 February 2013 03:28:37AM *  3 points [-]

It means committed to a mental hospital. E.g. in Massachusetts the relevant law is in Section 12 of the chapter, so to "section 12" someone or just "section" them is to commit them to a hospital against their will.

Presumably he meant he can't go to a cryonics org or a regular hospital and just ask to be cryopreserved, because that would be suicidal, and voicing suicidalality would get him sectioned to a psych hospital.

Comment author: Epiphany 16 February 2013 04:23:10AM 1 point [-]

Hmm. Good alternate explanation. Thanks.

Comment author: Mitchell_Porter 11 February 2013 08:14:22AM *  1 point [-]

dissected edit: looks like I was wrong

Comment author: juliawise 16 February 2013 03:31:27AM *  0 points [-]

I don't think so. See above.

Comment author: Epiphany 11 February 2013 10:49:15AM *  0 points [-]

Thank you. Okay, so he's saying here that people who kill themselves are dissected... which implies that people who die of some other cause are not usually dissected?

If people who kill themselves are dissected more frequently than others, then what is the reason for that? My guess is that they suspect foul play more often, but for all I know it has to do with looking for specific brain diseases that cause depression or it's some vestigial behavior left over from the days when they used leeches.

Comment author: gwern 11 February 2013 07:33:25PM *  3 points [-]

which implies that people who die of some other cause are not usually dissected?

Relatively few disease or old-age related deaths result in autopsy (even though they're a good idea since they routinely reveal wrong diagnoses).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autopsy#Forensic_autopsy The reason why suicides would be mandated to be autopsied in some states is pretty obvious: murders can look a lot like a suicide. As well, the close proximity of a suicide to preservation can raise questions about whether the cryonics people hurried it up and committed murder - ALCOR had a close call in the Dora Kent incident.

These requirements and dangers are why cryonics groups don't handle suicidees except, AFAIK, in rare cases where there is no suspicion of foul play and autopsy can be avoided like Kim Suozzi avoiding food & drink while terminal. Some links: http://www.alcor.org/FAQs/faq06.html#death http://www.alcor.org/Library/html/casereport9304.html

Comment author: Epiphany 14 February 2013 07:03:28PM *  1 point [-]

Thanks for this. That's really too bad. In my view, there really needs to be some sort of protocol that terminally ill patients can follow that guarantees they'll be frozen in the event that they choose to exercise their right to die. Maybe there is one implied by "in rare cases" and I am not aware of it?