Alicorn, you are fairly accomplished on this site. What if we consider the possibility that some people are more accepting of the 'this is the facts, folks' sort of treatment when we are looking at a situation like this, and some people are more prone to getting relief from other sources?

I know when my father died, it was really only distance that helped me.

Perhaps we should look into a project documenting the ways in which we all might want to be comforted? I can't think of something more ant-hill like than a science of grief, but perhaps as rationalists we ought to consider it?