General Point: Seek professional medical assistance as soon as possible.
In the UK general practitioners are very capable of dealing with it, and do so regularly, and can refer you to specialists if necessary, and in the short term supply medication. I assume the situation is similar where you are, (Germany?) as it is in all developed countries.
My personal experience is that putting off seeking professional assistance is one of the worst things I have ever done, it is an extremely difficult step to take but a necessary one that will help a lot. Unsurprisingly, people in extremely depressed states are not acting very rationally, and so prioritize things like social pressures, pride and so on above the need to get help. Particularly among intelligent people there is a strong cultural bias against seeking assistance, which is very harmful in this case.
In terms of treatment you can apply yourself. I have personally found that exercise is extremely helpful, walking at the very minimum and more strenuous exercise if possible (remember our brains are optimized to an ancestral environment of almost constant physical exercise). Also improving sleep patterns, healthier diet and reducing use of alcohol and caffeine can be helpful, though depend more on individual circumstances.
On medication, based on my personal experience and knowledge of the medical data I would strongly recommend it.
She says she never want's to take antidepressants because she fears to get dependent from them.
This is a worry shared by a lot of people, which while rational is based on a mis-perception of how depression and antidepressants work.
Roughly, we have a strong aversion to the idea of making people 'artificially' happy for whatever reason (see http://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Wireheading). Probably justifiably. People generally associate depression with sadness, hence consider anti depressants as 'happy pills' and hence bad.
The mis-perception is that while depression can cause sadness it is not equivalent, depression itself is a physiological state of reduced and distorted brain activity, which results in an absence of natural emotional reactions, and hence feelings of detachment, low mood and self esteem. For a rough analogy, a healthy person should feel bad if bad things happen and good if good things happen, a depressed person would be indifferent to both.
Modern anti-depressants (SSRIs and SNRIs generally) work by enhancing neurotransmitter levels, and so allowing the brain to function more effectively and communicate signals better. Analogously to repairing a damaged processor on a computer so it works faster. (Disclaimer, I am not a Doctor and this is a simplification) From my personal experience I've found my brain works much better on medication, to the extent I can almost literally feel myself thinking faster, and while I still have bad periods I am capable of dealing with them. There are some minor adjustment side effects, but they are well worth it, and a doctor can guide you through them.
(Sorry the post ended up so long, hope it was helpful.)
There are serious discrepancies between the anectotal evidence for antidepressants (my own included) and the literature, which says they are only very slightly better than placebos for all but a few, very severe cases of depression.
The analogy to fixing a processor is a very poor one. Applying a single small molecule to a system like the human brain is more closely analogous to kicking a malfunctioning television. Seratonin for instance has diverse functions at different times and places. The "Seratonin Theory" of depression arose because compoun...
My girlfriend suffers serious depression. She has sleep disorder, anorexia, chronic pain, problems to concentrate, low selfesteem, daily low mood, listlessness and is very indecisive. On the other side she considers herself very happy apart from the "depression periods" and we have a great time together. We already consulted a psychotherapist, but there is waiting time about one month. I buyed her fishoil capsules, because she eats no fish and there is mild evidence that it helps treating depression (I don't think this will affect her depression greatly, but fishoil seems like an overall good idea). We often go on walks to catch some sunlight and get her some exercise.
She says she never want's to take antidepressants because she fears to get dependent from them. I think she might change her mind if there are very good arguments in favour of them. She is quite rational in spite of not knowing the LW-stuff. Does anybody of you know if there is any information of the succes rate of medicamentous (and psycho therapeutic) treatment available?
I highly appreciate any advice.
Furthermore i want to call attention to the topic of depression. A huge share of the population suffers at least once in their lifetime under depression (~20% in Germany). Sadly it's often not taken serious and a big taboo to speak about. Many people see it as self-inflicted. My girlfriend's mother doesn't believe in depression as a disease (see diseased thinking). It's a paradigm of irrationality that hurts people.