TheOtherDave comments on Guilt: Another Gift Nobody Wants - Less Wrong
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My unofficial conclusion after a few years of paying attention to my dog in this space is that mostly what she's doing is giving me the signals that work.
The "I'm sorry, please forgive me, see: I'm lovable!" face/dance is really quite effective at defusing my irritation, especially given that she can often pick up on me being irritated before I quite notice it myself.