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atucker comments on Manufacturing prejudice - Less Wrong
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I feel like the asymmetry in experience between red-haired and non-red-haired is important here.
Like, if you don't have red hair, joking about being hostile towards red haired people feels entirely innocuous. Even mild assault isn't that big of a deal (imagine playfully kicking someone in the shins). You're just joking, right?
If you do have red hair being told that you're subhuman or being assaulted because of your hair color doesn't feel nearly as inconsequential.
Spreading the meme feels harmless to the meme-spreaders, but the meme itself feels harmful to the victims.
This is what is commonly meant by the term "privilege" these days: an advantage you have whether you know you do or not, and particularly if you don't know.
Edit: as already noted by JulianMorrison.
Yeah, that's what I had in mind when I was writing this.
Maybe someone should writeup a short article about it? It seems like a useful idea.