CronoDAS comments on Offense versus harm minimization - Less Wrong
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As far as I can tell, from my reading of the feminist blogosphere (which has considerable overlap with what I might call the pro-LGBT blogosphere), "queer" is generally considered an acceptable catchall term for anyone with a sexuality that doesn't quite fit into any of what might be called "standard categories". Or, at least, I've never seen anyone ever say that it was a word that shouldn't be used.