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steven0461 comments on Offense versus harm minimization - Less Wrong
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So perhaps in these situations a good way to reduce hostility is to emphasize that while you're opposed to what the other party's subconscious status calculations are trying to do, you have no beef with their conscious selves. (Though often their conscious selves aren't completely innocent either.)
I think this is probably a great way to increase hostility if you say it like that, equivalent to "I know it's your time of the month but you should try to look at this reasonably"