"I don't mind the smell of smoke, so why can't I smoke in the house just because you dislike it? What if I only smoke in the house 50% of the time? Isn't that a compromise?"

The analogy is good, but I don't think it maps exactly. Second-hand smoke is clinically proven to have negative health effects, whereas mess (in terms of clutter, at least, not filth to the point of arthropod infestation) causes no physical harm. I think that's why I feel strongly that it's NOT okay to smoke in the house as a compromise, but that it should be okay to compromise on cleaning standards.