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Giles comments on Insufficiently Awesome - Less Wrong
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Off the top of my head, it sounds like you need something to be awesome for. A goal. EY calls it "something to protect".
I don't doubt that you want to be awesome. What do you want to be awesome for? What do you really want to be awesome for?
You don't have to post it publicly (though I understand it can help, and it would be of on-topic interest), but you do need to say out loud to yourself what it is. Because once you have your real goal formed into words, the rational steps to get there follow pretty easily. It's a version of asking the right question.
I think that two of the components of awesomeness - status and self improvement - would be useful in achieving a very wide variety of goals.
So if you're still discovering what it is you're trying to protect, or if you currently feel you have nothing but expect something to turn up, awesomeness is a reasonable medium-term goal.