That's an excellent general description of the elephant/rider relationship. I should've been more specific. In this instance, I meant "what does the elephant desire that the rider also desires, but does not know he desires?"

Mostly, I think I'm put off by what I consider to be an "excessive" amount of self-control (in this case, lukeprog training his face to express what he wants to express), but the more I think about it, the less I think there's much substance to my objection. In fact, my objection says more about my fear of losing the safe distance provided by selective social apathy.

I still have a nagging concern about subtle needs getting smothered by some forms of self-control, but I'm currently stuck on what or when or how.