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XFrequentist comments on Ethics and rationality of suicide - Less Wrong
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I'm the same age as you. Personal autonomy, as in "I can do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want and not justify myself to anybody", is one of my biggest sources of happiness. I distinctly remember the jump in happiness that I felt when I moved away from my parents and started renting an apartment with a girlfriend. Some years later we broke up and I started living alone, and I got a big pleasant shock from that too (outweighing the pain of breakup and then some). What's more, the joy of autonomy doesn't seem to wear off for me, I still feel happy about it every day. YMMV.
If by any chance you'd like to become more self-supporting by finding a programming job, lately I've been getting more and more experience in advising people how to do that, so I can try to help out. (That also applies to everyone else reading this, of course.)
Wow, this is insanely relevant to my life.
In particular, it clarifies the cause of my increasing frustration with a certain associate.
Deliberately avoiding details, much of my interaction with this person feels like moving backwards in terms of autonomy. I've been feeling slightly guilty about my growing resentment, because they are (truly, from their perspective), "just being helpful".
This comment matches my experience extremely well; reflecting on the periods in my life when I've felt the best, they were often precipitated by a (sometimes involuntary) increase in autonomy - moving out, moving to a foreign country, etc.
Your comment has made my emotional state less opaque. So thanks!