HughRistik comments on Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics - Less Wrong

48 Post author: lukeprog 05 November 2011 11:06AM

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Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 November 2011 07:36:42AM 13 points [-]

Another caveat is surrogate behavior-- what's tested is which photographs women chose, not which men.

It's occurring to me that part of what annoys me about the "women prefer jerks" meme is the implication that women are distinctively irrational. There are men who chose women who mistreat them, sometimes one such woman after another, but I've never heard anyone say "men prefer bitches".

Just on the notion level, but I've wondered whether some women (especially young women) choose bad news men for the same reason that some men (especially young men) ride motorcycles-- risk and excitement. From what I've heard, one of the reasons women chose difficult men is the hope of being able to change them.

Another possibility is availability bias-- the stereotype is the woman who spends years complaining about the awful men in her life to a patient male friend who's wondering why she never chooses him. Women who are happy with their relationships aren't going to do as nearly as much complaining about them, and probably aren't going to be talking in comparable detail about how good the relationship is.

Comment author: HughRistik 13 November 2011 11:11:30AM 5 points [-]

There are men who chose women who mistreat them, sometimes one such woman after another, but I've never heard anyone say "men prefer bitches".

I think the hypothesis would be that women choose men who are "jerks" partly because they are jerks, while men choose women who are "jerks" because they just don't care so much about personality traits, and/or despite those women being jerks.

Examining this hypothesis would require an operationalization of "jerk."

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 13 November 2011 02:40:16PM 0 points [-]

Examining this hypothesis would require an operationalization of "jerk."

Wouldn't it, though? I wish that would happen, and I wonder why at least a sketch of a definition hasn't emerged yet.

Comment author: lessdazed 13 November 2011 03:05:55PM 0 points [-]

Does this count? I think there are more too.

Comment author: wedrifid 13 November 2011 02:44:28PM 0 points [-]

I wish that would happen, and I wonder why at least a sketch of a definition hasn't emerged yet.

I'm almost certain that at least one has.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 13 November 2011 04:10:57PM 0 points [-]

I saw a list of possible meanings somewhere in this discussion, but I don't remember a follow-up of what particular people have in mind.