cousin_it comments on Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics - Less Wrong

48 Post author: lukeprog 05 November 2011 11:06AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (1529)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: cousin_it 16 November 2011 12:49:48AM *  3 points [-]

I like the idea of having a designated PUA discussion thread, and I absolutely love the idea of making that thread explicitly ethics-free. The idea seems good enough to just try it and see what happens! Do you want to write that post (in the discussion area, I guess) and lay down the rules?

Comment author: RomanDavis 16 November 2011 02:10:44AM 4 points [-]

You've got the karma for it. Why not you?

Comment author: cousin_it 16 November 2011 02:44:16AM *  3 points [-]

Thanks for the offer! Konkvistador has a prior claim to the idea, so I'll do that if he/she prefers me to do that.

Comment author: [deleted] 16 November 2011 07:55:19AM *  3 points [-]

I'm considering posting such a thread, but I'm thinking very very carefully if this is a good idea. It seems best to me to wait a few days, perhaps even consider a meta thread or two in preparation.

Discussion in the absence of ethics, dosen't really cover discussion that may hurt the community image or the image of posters, at least not explicitly. And while the current situation is intolerable I don't want to cause any damage with a botched fix.

Comment author: komponisto 16 November 2011 11:07:13AM 6 points [-]

See here. I'm inclining more and more toward the opinion that this topic-cluster simply doesn't belong here, any more than (other) controversial contemporary political issues do. It's too fraught with (perceived) implications for tribal struggles that people (even unconsciously) feel themselves to be party to.

In all honesty, I'm not even terribly enthused about Luke's proposed sequence being here, especially in Main. (It might well be okay in Discussion.) It sends the signal that LW is full of people who have trouble with these sorts of relationships. Maybe that's true, but it's not exactly something one would want to showcase, it seems to me.

Comment author: cousin_it 16 November 2011 08:06:05AM 1 point [-]

Thanks for replying. I think you're right.

Comment author: lessdazed 16 November 2011 03:01:29AM 0 points [-]

he/she

Seriously now. Konkvistador?

Comment author: MixedNuts 16 November 2011 05:49:33AM 3 points [-]

I didn't know! (Though my guess would have been accurate.) I went wading through old comments:

  • Konkvistador: he
  • cousin_it: he
  • lessdazed: No pronoun stated, but you're Jewish!
  • RomanDavis: No pronoun stated, but the first name makes "he" likely.
Comment author: MixedNuts 16 November 2011 03:30:38AM 3 points [-]

Upvoted, but... it looks like the kind of shiny clever idea nerds love and that blows up in their faces big time. "Purely factual questions discussed separately from ethics" sounds like something Paul Graham would pat you on the back for. Specific instances thereof, such as "Do people have more sex if they ignore body language expressing discomfort?" are significantly less tasteful.

The problem is that this is a public forum. In our ivory towers - inside our own heads, and with other people who like to toy with weird ideas - we can totally argue that genocide is legitimate if there's a genetic disorder spreading whose carriers only have male children with the disorder. But we don't expect it to be harmless to discuss that in front of the neonazis (or even ourselves, really). There are people I don't want looking at a factual discussion of how to get away with rape.

Comment author: Nornagest 16 November 2011 04:22:21AM *  7 points [-]

My cursor was literally hovering over the upvote button from the first paragraph on... and then I got to the last sentence, which completely reversed my view of it. Then I went back and parsed it more carefully, and now it looks to me like there's some pretty sketchy rhetoric in there.

Specifically: there's mindkilling ideas and then there's ideas which represent a physical propagation risk, and while PUA is undoubtedly the former, framing it with rape and genocide implies the latter. Now, I suppose it might look like that to some of its more extreme opponents, those who see it as not just squicky or disrespectful but actively dangerous. But that's not the consensus, and there are substantial differences in the way we should be approaching it if it was.

On the other hand, if you'd cast your objection in terms of signaling or associational problems, I'd be right there with you. I'm pretty much neutral on PUA as such, but it's an incredibly polarizing topic, and this isn't a big enough site that we can discuss stuff that volatile in public and expect it not to reflect substantially on the site as a whole.

Comment author: cousin_it 16 November 2011 01:50:35PM *  5 points [-]

For onlookers wondering about the genetic disorder thing, it was discussed in Evolving to Extinction. The relevant part:

Segregation-distorters subvert the mechanisms that usually guarantee fairness of sexual reproduction. For example, there is a segregation-distorter on the male sex chromosome of some mice which causes only male children to be born, all carrying the segregation-distorter. Then these males impregnate females, who give birth to only male children, and so on. You might cry "This is cheating!" but that's a human perspective; the reproductive fitness of this allele is extremely high, since it produces twice as many copies of itself in the succeeding generation as its nonmutant alternative. Even as females become rarer and rarer, males carrying this gene are no less likely to mate than any other male, and so the segregation-distorter remains twice as fit as its alternative allele.

It just occurred to me that such a situation can rectify itself without the need for genocide :-) If females can detect males carrying the segregation-distorter, they will avoid mating with such males, because having female children is a reproductive advantage in a population where males outnumber females. Or am I getting confused again?

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 16 November 2011 02:20:30PM 3 points [-]

There would also be strong selective pressure for any genes which can override the segregation-distorter, even if the females can't recognize the males which carry it.

Comment author: lessdazed 16 November 2011 05:43:28PM 4 points [-]

A modest proposal:

If mothers made a habit of snacking on (each other's) litters of all sons, that would counteract the problem. That wouldn't require being able to differentiate among adult males, just between male and female children.

If the species takes a long time to wean children and doesn't reproduce until that process ends, this works better.

Mice, pigs, rabbits etc. (animals with large litters) already eat weak children fairly often, so this is somewhat plausible.

Comment author: wedrifid 16 November 2011 06:10:52PM 3 points [-]

A modest proposal:

If mothers made a habit of snacking on (each other's) litters of all sons, that would counteract the problem.

I love lesswrong!

Comment author: lessdazed 19 November 2011 12:46:09AM 1 point [-]

Rather than rely on females recognizing things about males, what about genes that capitalize on the difference between regular males and those with the disorder - sisters!

Females could more greatly than presently value aggression (this would only need a boost, the trait already exists), and a gene could make females intervene to break up their brothers' fights. Young males with the disorder would tear each other to shreds or be too timid to reproduce, and males without the disorder would have sisters preventing them from killing each other.

Comment author: wedrifid 16 November 2011 03:17:26PM 1 point [-]

There would also be strong selective pressure for any genes which can override the segregation-distorter, even if the females can't recognize the males which carry it.

"Strong" for sure. Unfortunately for the species it would have to emerge fully functional in the time it takes for the species to evolve to extinction. Not so easy.

Comment author: cousin_it 16 November 2011 02:25:52PM *  0 points [-]

Nice!

Now I wonder why Eliezer's post calls the original problem unsolved. Surely such elementary solutions couldn't have evaded the experts in the field? I'm guessing that I made a mistake somewhere...

Comment author: JoshuaZ 16 November 2011 02:41:09PM 3 points [-]

Unfortunately, this will only work in a population with a weak segregation distorter. Remember, mutations that do a specific thing are rare, and detecting the presence of a specific allele that doesn't have large-scale phenotypic effects is tough. By the time the segregation distorting allele is a large fraction of the population it is almost too late for the population.

Comment author: lessdazed 16 November 2011 01:52:01PM 3 points [-]

It seems easier to evolve a preference for incest.

Comment author: wedrifid 16 November 2011 04:22:37AM 2 points [-]

Do people have more sex if they ignore body language expressing discomfort?

Almost certainly not! That's valuable information needed to calibrate optimal seduction technique, even for a PUA of perfect soullessness.