MixedNuts comments on Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics - Less Wrong

48 Post author: lukeprog 05 November 2011 11:06AM

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Comment author: MixedNuts 16 November 2011 07:22:31AM 2 points [-]

If you are going to rape people then you don't need PUA. It'd be kind of redundant.

What I'm talking about is techniques that get people to let you stick your dick in them. Many of these techniques grow more effective as they are intensified, but also less ethical after a certain point. "Get them drunk" is an example, but not PUA. Better examples would be persevering (necessary to pass simple shit-tests, but nagging too much will make people so desperate to be left alone they may well agree to sex), and intermittent reinforcement (ranging from not being a spineless, clingy sycophant, to emotional abuse).

What on earth are you talking about?

Consider the difference between the slut and the quality girl. Also the phrase "pumped and dumped".

This belief is useful because if a woman agrees to sex early, you can think that you're worth more than her, and display related behaviors (making her chase you and fear competition); moreover, if you get sex by promising to call the next day but don't, you don't have to feel guilty because she's just a slut anyway.

Comment author: [deleted] 16 November 2011 08:04:10AM * 7 points [-]

(..., but nagging too much will make people so desperate to be left alone they may well agree to sex)

I have a very hard time imagining this working. Women and men of high social status have very effective ways of getting rid of people that fall short of sex. Also constant "nagging" signals horrible things about you in pure fitness terms, it much reduces one's attractiveness, I can't see why this would be rewarded with sex.

Sex with a woman might happen in spite of nagging, not because of it.

Comment author: CuSithBell comment score below threshold [+] (6 children)

Comment author: [deleted] 16 November 2011 08:39:45AM * 6 points [-]

Obviously pressured sex happens.

I am simply saying its not a good tactic in the context of situations that PUA usually focuses on.

Note that pressure =/= nagging. For it to be pressure you need to have some social or physical leverage over the other person. Nagging dosen't imply you have either and in their absence the word brings up associations of begging. It is hard to gain great leverage on people of high social status.

Comment author: CuSithBell 17 November 2011 07:26:17AM 1 point [-]

My point was not about PUA. You said:

nagging too much will make people so desperate to be left alone they may well agree to sex

I have a very hard time imagining this working... I can't see why this would be rewarded with sex. Sex with a woman might happen in spite of nagging, not because of it.

You also talked about PUA, but the above is a simple claim of fact which is incorrect.

Comment author: [deleted] 17 November 2011 07:32:56AM 2 points [-]

The post was a response to:

persevering (necessary to pass simple shit-tests, but nagging too much will make people so desperate to be left alone they may well agree to sex)

This was given as a better example of a potential PUA tactic that could be unethical. I was implicitly taking and critiquing the course of action as a tactic a PUA would or would not adopt based on how effective or ineffective it was. I thought it obvious, but looking back I see I should have made an explicit mention of PUA in the comment.

Comment author: wedrifid 17 November 2011 06:04:26AM * -1 points [-]

I think the point here isn't that people don't get pressured into sex but rather that the specific strategy mentioned isn't one that PUAs would use because it is both pathetic and a highly ineffective strategy for them to be using. So if a completely amoral PUA was using unethical tactics to get laid he would still not use this one because he wouldn't expect this one to work.

Comment author: CuSithBell 17 November 2011 07:00:24AM 1 point [-]

Well, sure. I was taking issue specifically with Konkvistador's post, above, and the claim:

nagging too much will make people so desperate to be left alone they may well agree to sex

I have a very hard time imagining this working... I can't see why this would be rewarded with sex. Sex with a woman might happen in spite of nagging, not because of it.

This is NOT me saying "evil PUAs do this", it's "orthogonal to your points about PUA, you have made a simple factual claim backed by personal incredulity which is, in fact, false".

Comment author: PhilosophyTutor 25 November 2011 12:53:12AM -2 points [-]

I think you need to give us the definition of PUA you are using, because you seem to be using one that excludes a lot of actions or strategies which one might think would be advantageous to a person who wants to get laid, and unethical persons who want to get laid seem highly likely to be a subgroup of people perusing and participating in a hypothetical discussion of PUA that tabooed all ethical criticism.

Comment author: MixedNuts 17 November 2011 12:38:01PM -2 points [-]

I meant that.

Comment author: lessdazed 17 November 2011 02:07:01PM 1 point [-]

In my mind, "nagging" in this context meant repeating a request such that the other person changed their response to the request rather than be subjected to further pestering, not pulling down a girl's pants time and time again until she stopped saying no and said neither yes nor no.

Comment author: wedrifid 17 November 2011 02:20:30PM 1 point [-]

Yes, nagging and pulling down pants are definitely entirely different things. The latter is more ethically grey while the former is more pathetic.

MixedNuts comments on Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics - Less Wrong

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