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Alicorn comments on Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics - Less Wrong
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I did not say that. I looked at the chatlog to be sure, and I did not say that.
I was paraphrasing based on my understanding of that conversation. Apologies if I misunderstood and inadvertently misrepresented you.
This might come out a little harsh, but...
whining about having been rejected, in public, in front of the woman who rejected you, is not exactly a turn on, I suppose.
There aren't enough italics in the world to sufficiently emphasize how much whining about being rejected was not the intent of my comment.
It may not have been the intent, but that was what it looked like to me also.
Well, it didn't sound like that to me. (Mmm... Should I start up a karma poll to know how it sounded to other people?)
I have a hack which usually gets such points across efficiently, though:
"How did you - that's exactly, completely what I was thinking! You're totally right!
...(short pause)...
Now put that in parenthesis, and put a minus sign in front. You'll see what I mean."
I'd also add that the whining itself could not possibly have caused the rejection, since you'd have some kind of causal loop.
I agree on the implied denotation that such a general attitude, if applied in other circumstances, would be detrimental. I disagree about the also-implicit conclusion that EphemeralNight does use that attitude in general. Nothing in particular seems to indicate that this person is prone to whining about rejection in general. We've only seen one single instance of some person kicking the soda machine, without knowing about their brother that just got arrested and the 5K$ debt they just learned about - to reuse an old example.
Hopefully she PM'd you her best estimate of her real reason for losing interest.
I would if he asked. Until then I can't be sure he wants to know.
Aww, too bad he never invoked Crocker's Rules. That would give you immediate license and confirmation that he does want to know.
Also, he'd probably go batshit insane.
Ask him whether he wants to know?
I would prefer not to do that. (At least not directly. Having this oblique conversation in public is fine.)