I was pretty happy before LW, until I learnt about utility maximization. It tells me that I ought to do what I don't want to do on any other than some highly abstract intellectual level. I don't even get the smallest bit of satisfaction out of it, just depression.

That's not utility maximisation, that's utilitarianism. A separate idea, though confusingly named.

IMHO, utilitarianism is a major screw-up for a human being. It is an unnatural philosophy which lacks family values and seems to be used mostly by human beings for purposes of signalling and manipulation.