And remember that rejecting those roles and goals takes a LOT of effort

What? It takes me more effort to follow them than to go my own way. YMMV, but remember not to generalize from one example.

EDIT: The "others find it externally (they just aren't equipped to fit into the roles their culture wants to assign them)" suggests you did already understand that. (Still a weird way to put it IMO -- "refraining from smoking is hard, but certain people are motivated to do that because they don't like tobacco"? -- but still.)