There's a similar idea in web design (which, I think, is not merely a coincidence) - users spend most of their time on other people's websites. This entails that one must design one's site in a way that is intuitive relative to the designs of other people's sites.

Similarly, the use of closed-garden techniques, like an internal karma score and excessive jargon and internal references, will alienate folks who don't want to specifically 'be a member of this community' - which should not be all that this site is about.