So I broke up with Alice over a long conversation that included an hour-long primer on evolutionary psychology in which I explained how natural selection had built me to be attracted to certain features that she lacked.

I do not get this but it would be immediately clear if you were more specific, e. g. you said you decided she is too fat.

So, what was it?

(I am not going to comment on this thread again because I am curious and I am going to go read the l-z version right now.)