It occurred to me that it would be more constructive to say what things do exist instead of an essential quality of confidence:

• A person can have a tendency to feel confident in certain contexts.
• A person can have a tendency to feel confident in unfamiliar contexts.
• A person can feel unconfident, but consciously decide to in a confident manner, thus mitigating their feelings to a degree.
• A person can have incipient feelings of unconfidence, but have a habit of acting in a confident manner, thus quelling the feelings of unconfidence before they have a chance to flourish.
• A person can have underlying insecurities that only awaken in response to specific triggers, which they can avoid, either consciously or by habit.
• A person can have underlying insecurities that need to be recognized by the person before they can heal, and they can avoid acknowledging these insecurities, with the result that they think they have no insecurities but in fact parts of themselves are feeling isolated.

I would consider "acting confident" to be a variation of lying, as I've said many times, and as a rule utilitarian, I think lying is almost always bad. It may not be tremendously disutilitious, but I think the overall effect is so.

Whenever I feel unconfident or uncomfortable, I attempt to analyze the source of my discomfort. Why am I uncomfortable? Suppose I am apprehensive about giving a presentation that I haven't adequately prepared for. It would be most beneficial to me and my audience if, instead of faking confidence, I had the modesty to admit my error (or even explain the situation, perhaps I have an excuse) and address what is the best course of action given the situation I'm in.

In Luke's situation, I would proceed as follows: Why am I apprehensive about speaking to that girl? Is it because I fear rejection? Why should I fear her rejection? This doesn't make much sense, as, assuming she rejects me, I will likely never speak to her again. And if she doesn't reject me, the point is moot. If my emotions are based in reason, then it must not be because I fear her rejection. What other reasons could there be? Do I fear bothering her, or creeping her out, or in someway bringing her disutility? Perhaps. But as long as I am polite and respectful in my approach, she has no reason to feel disutility at all. Perhaps I am uncomfortable with the social conventions that require men to approach women and wish not to perpetuate such a system. Perhaps I'm gay. Have I considered trying men?

I could go on, but I think I've made my point. By analyzing why you feel a certain way, you (or at least I) gain the confidence that I would be otherwise faking. Introspection allows you to dismiss irrational feelings as irrational - as you should.

Edit: To quote Rand, "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."