More the former, though I don't think that it's difficult-to-understand in the usual sense - my impression is that it's distinctly more subjective than that.

I understand that some people find monogamy aesthetically pleasing, and can write that off as personal preference and ignore it in general. You seemed to be trying to give a better model than that, but none of your examples really hit the mark, there. (Is the bit about cheating supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?) I'm actually somewhat inclined to argue the 'noticing details' point, even - that's mostly a matter of having the opportunity to observe a person in a variety of situations, in my experience, and it seems to me that adding an extra spouse or two would help with that, not hinder it.