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GabrielDuquette comments on Rationality and Relationships - Less Wrong
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Were these skills honed over time, or are you a "natural?" What characteristics do you possess that others might not (as much)? Can you dissolve your talent?
As I was starting to hint at with the "luminosity" reference, I think a long habit of introspection helped me to figure out that, yes, marriage is for me. And what particular kinds of marriage are for me. And what sort of spouse would be suited to having that kind of marriage with me. And how I needed to change in order to be a good spouse in return. And which criteria are more crucial than others.
As a teen I was glad to be able to learn from the mistakes of my peers, instead of going through that heartache myself. It seems like not everyone can do this, though? At least, I can think of a few people who always seem to have to touch the hot stove before they learn that it burns.
I was that teenager, too. I didn't want to date until I had observed enough to do it well. It worked out well - it taught me to love without needing to possess. That's been a huge life skill for me.