Thanks for the critique; the post you were looking for was the post I wanted to write, but I had too much difficulty writing it, and I chose to post what I did rather than risk getting burnt out and posting nothing at all. That's also, in fact, what happened with my qualia sequence.

So I've now had two sequences of posts that were received tepidly despite most readers seeming to agree with them and finding them insightful; the most obvious conclusion is that I really need to improve as a writer. (Further evidence: people get much more excited about my ideas when I explain them face-to-face than when they read my writing.) I'm now publicly committing to relearn writing, with the help of Less Wrong... in two weeks, after the initial rush of the academic year subsides.