Well I know very little about you but if you're kind of nerdy and went to a co-ed high school then developed a much nerdier social circle on hitting university, and as a result had less opportunity you wouldn't be too atypical. On idiocy, did you know the opportunities were there and not take them or are they obvious only in retrospect? If the latter I wouldn't bother dwelling on it because you couldn't have known, and if you didn't take them for principled reasons you no longer endorse I wouldn't either. Values change. Now if you knew damned well you could have, wanted to, and still somehow couldn't do it, then yes, you were an idiot. Speaking as someone who was in that last category well after high school.