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wedrifid comments on Polyhacking - Less Wrong
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More to the point of the grandparent, they are the family members that you have sex with. (I usually prefer not be thought of as a brother by my romantic interests, nor do I find myself with the urge to grope my sisters.)
Mono vanilla uptight people also have family members they have sex with. They're called "spouses". When someone mentions their spouse as part of their family, listeners rarely recoil in accusations of incest.
The relevant characteristic of marriage here is the long-term, committed relationship with frequent contact (not necessarily cohabitation). Close-knit poly communities have several of these per person.
If people who are indirectly related by such relationships (e.g. siblings-in-law) get along well and see enough of each other, they usually have familial feelings toward each other (unless the families I know are weird). The relationship being sexual on both sides rather than sexual on one side and blood on the other has no reason to change this.
That is literally true, and saying that you have sex with your family members doesn't technically mean you admit to incest. That's why what I said was "There aren't many places where people would be comfortable making that comparison!"