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HughRistik comments on Rationality and Relationships September 2011 - Less Wrong
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Interesting. I've seen some such discussions get quite bad but I've seen others where apparently calm rational discussion took place. It seems that sex and gender issues quickly move towards mind-killing territory but sits a bit further away than most issues normally thought of as mind-killing. So far the discussions in this thread seem well done and informative. I haven't seen any strong evidence of any serious problems arising yet.
That's my experience, too. I have seen progress being made in some of the discussions about gender, even though they can be frustrating. But perhaps I'm focusing on the exchanges that I was involved in.
Also the topics you are interested in. Ethical issues related to gender are of particular interest to you so a conversation being derailed to ethical considerations are less pointless to you than to some.