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MartinB comments on Rational Communication - Less Wrong
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Comments (38)
Which I found incredible hard.
This segment I find rather sad. I disagree about the usefulness, but it saddens me to see someone be stuck in a situation and not be able to even tell them about it. It took a while to find a way to deal with that.
I deal with it by finding some non-critical, non-judgmental way to get THEM to admit that they're stuck in a less-than-ideal situation. Most people know that they have problems, and are more than willing to talk about them if they feel comfortable and not defensive. One thing I have to STOP doing is making passive-agressive comments that imply I disapprove but without saying it outright.
How do YOU deal with it?
Misogyny or changing the topic. I basically 'assume' that if they would actually care about resolving the issue they would put out a stronger effort which would be visible. In such a case I would probably be more supportive.
I have some people in my surrounding that stumble into very similar problems all the time and do not like to be pointed to that being the case.
Also it was really important for me to understand that I am not here to correct things I perceive as wrong in others. I changed my worldview to account for that. But I am not really able to describe that yet or to recommend it.
For a while I lived under the motto of 'friends tell friends the truth' which turned out to be a really stupid idea.
Misogyny?
Possibly: misanthropy.
"Misogyny" makes the sentence funnier.
Only if imposed unilaterally. Making it clear to your friends that you expect them to tell you the truth on a particularly important matter, in my experience, works quite well.