In sum, empathy has serious shortcomings.
But all of these examples are examples of incomplete or unskilled empathy.
Giving someone preferential treatment because they are cute isn't 'empathy'. (edited: better to say that not empathizing with something that is not cute is a failure of empathy)
Giving preferential treatment to Sheri is empathizing with Sheri and not the other people in the line -- that's again lopsided empathy. It won't happen if you also empathize with everyone in the line.
The ability of empathy to be manipulated would need a little more work to defend. There are certain emotions that people should feel (for example, remorse) that can be faked, and that is difficult to spot, and sometimes people don't express emotions in ways that other people recognize. A sophisticated empathy won't be based heavily on the expressed emotions of a person (for example, if a depressed person doesn't care if he is wrongly jailed should we not care if he is?) and will factor in that it is easier for some people to feel and display the "correct button" behaviors.
Ah, I see. So empathy is like violence or drugs - if it isn't solving your problems, you simply aren't using enough.
The following are extracts from the paper “Is Empathy Necessary For Morality?” (philpapers) by Jesse Prinz (WP) of CUNY; recently linked in a David Brooks New York Times column, “The Limits of Empathy”:
1 Introduction
2 Is Empathy Necessary for Moral Judgment?
3 Is Empathy Necessary for Moral Development?
4 Is Empathy Necessary for Moral Conduct?
5 Should we Cultivate An Empathy Based Morality?
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