taryneast comments on How to understand people better - Less Wrong
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passive-aggressive behaviour is a power play.
If Alice is being passive-aggressive (as you stated) then she is trying to be manipulative... in this case(as you stated) by causing Bob to suffer when he has (as you stated) done nothing wrong.
She is punishing him for having done nothing. This is a power play, pure and simple.
A non-power play solution to the problem would be for Alice to sit Bob down and explain why she's so upset, or just to say that she doesn't want to burden him with her personal problems and can he please stop bothering her about it? or similar...