- Put yourself in their shoes
- Think of times you’ve been in a similar situation and explain your reaction
- Can the behavior be explained by a more “universal” model than a person-specific one?
- How are they empathizing with you, given they are projecting?
- How are they empathizing with you, given what you know about how they perceive others?
- What successful model have you used to explain similar behavior for similar people?
- Is your conclusion affected by your attitude towards the subject?
May I suggest learning microexpressions? There's an app for the android I use and after a few dozen trials, I can noticeably read emotions better. By increasing the accuracy and timeliness of the emotional feedback you get, you can learn from real-life situations much better.
Do you have a link for that app?