As a general rule, when I ask "how're you?" I actually mean the question, and I want an actual answer if the person I'm asking is willing to give it.
So yeah, I know it's used as a "social lubricant", but I myself generally ask it with the intent of actually finding out how the person is doing.
There are other methods for obtaining that information which don't use that exact phrase. Once greetings are done something as simple as 'how have you been recently' invites people to share that information. The issue is that the standard 'How are you' greeting isn't a request for information so responding to it as if it is one disrupts communication.
I've seen an article on LW about Santa Claus and most people were very keen on not lying to their kids (and I agree). I have a little kid who is generally quite truthful, innocent enough not to lie in most cases. I noticed recently that when someone asks him, "How are you", he usually answers in detail because, well, you asked, didn't you? When I was a teenager I hated people who lied and I tended to ignore these unwritten social rules to the extent I could. I.e. I didn't ask if I didn't want to know and people thought I was rude. So, my question is, should I teach him to lie upon these occasions?
More broadly, I was thinking, why am I committed to being truthful, in general? I guess because I would hate to be lied to myself. This is a kind of magical thinking maybe, or maybe it's a part of the social contract. This sort of lying in fact promotes the social well-being because to answer truthfully creates an unwelcome burden on my interlocutor who asked out of politeness and is not in truth interested. But it still feels wrong to lie. Even more wrong to teach your kid to do so.