dlthomas comments on Better Disagreement - Less Wrong
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Updating beliefs regarding the conclusion of an argument based on discussion of tone is a poor idea, for sure. Discussion of tone is tangential, and doesn't do much to get you where you're going at the moment. I believe it is placed above ad hominem in the hierarchy because it is more likely to be adding something, however - updating beliefs about tone based on discussion of tone makes total sense, and may lead to better discussion in the future.