I'm saying it's possible that what's really going on is that you think Kaj is mistaken when he calls the situation a problem... that he has made an error. But rather than say "Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error" you say "Kaj, I'm confused." And that the reason you do this is because to say "Kay, you are mistaken, you have made an error" is to challenge Kaj's status, which would potentially subject you to reprisals.
It's possible that you're doing this deliberately. In that case, by convention we would say you aren't really confused. (We might also, by convention, say you're being dishonest, or say that you're being polite, or say various other things.)
It's also possible that you are doing this unknowingly... that you are generating the experience of confusion so as to protect yourself from reprisal. In this case, it's less clear whether convention dictates that we say you are "really confused" or "not really confused". I would say it doesn't at all matter; the best thing to do is not ask that question. (Or, if we must, to agree on a convention as to which one it is.)
In any case, I agree with your basic point about goal optimization, I just think talking about whether it constitutes a "real problem" or not contributes nothing to the discussion, much like I think talking about whether you're experiencing "real confusion" in the latter case contributes nothing.
That said, you are completely ignoring the knock-on effects of lying (e.g., increasing the chances that I will be perceived as lying in a social context where being perceived in this way has costs).
Ah, then I misunderstood you. Yes, I believe Kaj is wrong, either in calling this a problem or in the assumption that status-seeking is a good explanation of it. However, based on past contributions, I think that Kaj has thought a lot about this and it is more likely that I'm misunderstanding him than that he is wrong. Thus my expressed confusion. If further discussion fails to clear this up, I will shift to assuming that he is simply wrong.
I have become convinced that problems of this kind are the number one problem humanity has. I'm also pretty sure that most people here, no matter how much they've been reading about signaling, still fail to appreciate the magnitude of the problem.
Here are two major screw-ups and one narrowly averted screw-up that I've been guilty of. See if you can find the pattern.
It may not be immediately obvious, but all three examples have something in common. In each case, I thought I was working for a particular goal (become capable of doing useful Singularity work, advance the cause of a political party, do useful Singularity work). But as soon as I set that goal, my brain automatically and invisibly re-interpreted it as the goal of doing something that gave the impression of doing prestigious work for a cause (spending all my waking time working, being the spokesman of a political party, writing papers or doing something else few others could do). "Prestigious work" could also be translated as "work that really convinces others that you are doing something valuable for a cause".
We run on corrupted hardware: our minds are composed of many modules, and the modules that evolved to make us seem impressive and gather allies are also evolved to subvert the ones holding our conscious beliefs. Even when we believe that we are working on something that may ultimately determine the fate of humanity, our signaling modules may hijack our goals so as to optimize for persuading outsiders that we are working on the goal, instead of optimizing for achieving the goal!
You can see this all the time, everywhere:
There's an additional caveat to be aware of: it is actually possible to fall prey to this problem while purposefully attempting to avoid it. You might realize that you have a tendency to only want to do particularly prestigeful work for a cause... so you decide to only do the least prestigeful work available, in order to prove that you are the kind of person who doesn't care about the prestige of the task! You are still optimizing your actions on the basis of expected prestige and being able to tell yourself and outsiders an impressive story, not on the basis of your marginal impact.