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Raemon comments on The Gift We Give Tomorrow, Spoken Word [Finished?] - Less Wrong
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I included something about the God-figure where it used to say "Unless you want to say 'Magic'". I don't think it quite works - it ends on a question that isn't adequately resolved before moving on.
Let me know what you think.
Actually, I think it does work, especially if you are presenting this to people who are somewhat familiar with LessWrong ideas. Given that this is poetry, I'm not sure that a fully rigorous reply is even necessary.