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thejash comments on How is your mind different from everyone else's? - Less Wrong
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I also had an uncomfortably strong level of empathy specifically towards people doing something that would make me uncomfortable, in a social sense. When I watched someone talking and embarrassing themselves in class for example, it felt like my insides were trying to escape my skin.
This actually went away after watching all of the seasons of The Office (the American version).
However, I'm pretty sure I feel an abnormally low amount of empathy for other emotional states in other people (both positive and negative, this was unaffected by watching The Office)
Finnish actually has a word for this feeling - myötähäpeä (a literal translation would be something like "co-shame" or "shared shame"). Me and some people I know have occasionally wondered if Americans generally experience it less, because American TV shows seem to have a tendency to produce enough myötähäpeä to make them unwatchable more frequently than shows from other countries do.
I'm American, and I feel that sense of embarrassment-by-proxy strongly enough to actively avoid a lot of the situational comedy that the US film and television industries produce. But that seems fairly unusual in this culture, if my social group and my perceptions of the American mainstream are anything to go by.
One explanation - that actually seems a bit too obvious to me - is the uniquely strong individualism of American culture. In a more collective or family/group-based culture, feeling ashamed over somebody else embarrassing themselves is an entirely reasonable reaction. If someone belonged to your group, it would be your responsibility to look after them and make sure they don't embarrass themselves or otherwise fare badly. By embarrassing themselves, they would also be shaming you.
Of course, the characters in television shows don't belong to our family, but adaptation-executers not fitness maximizers.
I strangely find peep show watchable but curb your enthusiasm not watchable. Maybe the accents help me delineate.
That's true, I've noticed it myself.
In Dutch we call it 'plaatsvervangende schaamte' - my dictionary translates that as 'vicarious shame', so English does have an expression for it, too. I think that the Dutch expression is clearer about you experiencing shame in place of the other person, who doesn't seem to feel any...
I have this thing, too. It would be interesting to figure out if it is overrepresented in this community, and if yes, why. I googled and found this account, which basically says that it's simply empathy:
Vicarious Embarrassment: Awkward Moments Trigger Pain Centers in the Brain
I am not sure I can believe that.
I have this as well. I would not generally describe it as feeling like empathy from the inside.
I can say, as an American, I've never met another person who had to cover their ears or eyes during a show because of this sensation.
In the Netherlands it's apparently quite rare too.
It looks like I have to take back what I said. I was watching Moulin Rouge and a friend covered her eyes. It was the elephant room scene.
Have you found any negative consequences from this exposure therapy?
None that I've noticed It's actually quite nice not to feel personally liable when other people are doing stupid things anymore.
If you're willing to generalize from one data point, I say go for it :)
If you DO go for it, note that most of the benefit came from watching the first two seasons, so if you don't experience any change after that, it probably isn't worth pursuing. Also, I watched it with a bunch of friends who all clearly enjoyed it, so that might be a good detail to replicate if possible.
Also if you try it, let me know how it turns out, I'm really curious.
I've seen the first two or three seasons, and it didn't cure me. :(