ciphergoth comments on Whining-Based Communities - Less Wrong
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I see your point and your purpose, but I have 2 caveats:
The whole issue resists analysis, because "my fault" vs. "not my fault" reduces to free will vs. determinism. As materialists, we kind of have to believe that nothing is anyone's "fault" or "accomplishment". At least, not in the old-fashioned moralistic sense.
I find this one of the hardest and most enlightening disciplines of being a materialist. It certainly is the single thing that puts the most distance between me and most people in the way I think about the world.
I keep hoping to either write or read a top-level post about this.
Causality and Moral Responsibility
(It's being reduced to parts, not explained away.)