The whole issue resists analysis, because "my fault" vs. "not my fault" reduces to free will vs. determinism. As materialists, we kind of have to believe that nothing is anyone's "fault" or "accomplishment". At least, not in the old-fashioned moralistic sense.

The issue isn't whether or not someone who whines is factually correct. It's whether or not whining is a winning strategy. It generally isn't, so don't wine.